Review: Netflix’s “The Christmas Chronicles” Channels 90s Holiday Movies

“I’m Santa Claus, Teddy, not Yoda...” 

Santa Claus — “The Christmas Chronicles”

When it comes to original movies, Netflix has offered something of a mixed bag over the years. 

Up until now, Netflix has built a reputation on its original series. This is generally the area where streaming services work to make their mark. 

That said, I’ve reviewed a number of Netflix original movies on this blog. While they might not achieve the level of “high art,” they remind me of the sort of movies Bridget and I would rent at our local video emporium back in the day. 

It is in that spirit that “The Christmas Chronicles” travels. 

The holiday film follows two siblings — Kate (Darby Camp) and Teddy (Judah Lewis) Pierce. The two live with their mother, Claire (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), in the blue collar environs of Lowell, MA. 

The movie starts out with old home video footage of the family throughout the years at Christmas. We see dad Doug (Oliver Hudson) in these vignettes, and learn in short order that he has died. 

Kate is a precocious 10-year-old who carries on the video tradition — using an ancient camcorder to document life’s moments. Her brother is a teen of indeterminate age, but the wayward boy boosts cars in his spare time (something Kate captures on video). 

Claire works to keep her family together. In the early moments of “The Christmas Chronicles,” she finds out she has fill in for a co-worker on Christmas Eve — leaving her two kids to fend for themselves. 

Kate and Teddy entertain themselves by watching old Christmas videos. She catches a glimpse of an “odd” arm in some of the footage. She believes it is Santa Claus, and employs her skeptical brother to help her set a trap.

In the wee morning hours, the two discover that there is indeed a Santa Claus, find his sleigh floating in front of their house, and decide to get inside. When Santa (Kurt Russell) realizes he has two stowaways, all hell breaks loose — Kate and Teddy have to help Santa save Christmas!

What ensues is a whirlwind adventure that harkens back to 1990s holiday fare like “The Santa Clause.” It never achieves the same level of sugary goodness, but there are some funny moments strewn throughout the narrative. 

“The Christmas Chronicles” took some time to get going. The early parts of the movie (without Russell) featured dialogue that felt wooden and stilted (the script isn’t anything to write home about). 

But once Kurt Russell entered the pictured, things started to take off. 

I enjoyed Russell’s turn as Santa Claus. He portrayed “Father Christmas” in an unorthodox manner, but the effect was relaxed, fun, and unassuming.

He serves as a temporary father figure (maybe more of a “fun uncle”) to Kate and Teddy, dispensing life lessons to the pair throughout. 

Russell carried “The Christmas Chronicles” on his shoulders. He is one of my favorite actors, and has been capable in a variety of roles over the years. 

There are also cute CG elves. They are involved in some fun little bits in the movie. 

This affable interview with Russell about “The Christmas Chronicles” on NBC’s “Today” offers some interesting nuggets. Most notable was the fact that Russell had previous experience playing St. Nick in a Colorado shopping mall:

Many of you know that Bridget and I are avid college hockey fans. Kurt’s son Wyatt was a goalie at Alabama-Huntsville back in the early 2000s. We played the Chargers at one point during his years there. 

“The Christmas Chronicles” will never be mistaken for high art, but it is likable enough that your family should have a good time with it this holiday season. 

P.S. - The “Mrs. Claus” appearance at the end of the movie was a bit of casting genius. ;-)

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Tried Something New This Thanksgiving...

Our friends Arlen and Jill Robichaux (who live in our circle) offered to cook our turkey in their smoker this year for Thanksgiving. 

We had never had a smoked turkey for Thanksgiving. The most “adventurous” we had been before was prepping a turkey in a fryer in 2013.

Bridget took our 9 lb. turkey breast over to the Robichaux’s at 7:55 a.m. this morning. We rubbed it the night before with a blend of fresh basil and rosemary, ground pepper, sage, garlic powder, salt, and olive oil. 

Arlen has a digital smoker with a Bluetooth thermometer that connects to an app on his iPhone. Pretty cool deal...

Our turkey reached an internal temp of 165 degrees a little after 1 p.m.

My dad and Bridget’s mom really enjoyed the turkey — more than any turkey we’ve previously prepped. That is the best testament for smoking a turkey. 

Special thanks to Arlen and Jill for offering to smoke the turkey. Really appreciate their friendship and thankful that they helped make our Thanksgiving celebration a success!

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My Last Foray Into This Silly Trend: Pumpkin Spice Mini Wheats

For the sake of this blog — and for the sake of my curiosity — I decided to try my favorite breakfast cereal in the “pumpkin spice” variety. 

Last month, I reviewed Pop-Tarts flavored like pumpkin pie. They were alright. 

We’re nearing the end of “pumpkin season.” In a matter of hours, everything “special” will be peppermint. 

I’ll probably review some of those items too... mainly because they are super easy blog posts to write, and they get a lot of clicks (I kind of get obsessed with analytics on my hobby blogs). 

So there you go. You’re probably like, “So what did you think of the cereal, Jon?”

Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats are a staple of my diet. I’m sure they have too much sugar. I also know pop culture’s obsession with the “evils of gluten” won’t win me any health awards. 

I don’t care. The cereal is high in fiber and protein. 

The “pumpkin spice” edition of the cereal wasn’t too bad. I prefer the regular ol’ standby, to be honest. 

One “side effect” of the pumpkin spice coating is that it turned the milk an orange color. Some mornings that was sort of a turn off, to be honest.

That’s all I got. But don’t worry, I’ll be back with some weird food gimmick in December! 

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Halloween Traditions

I’ll be the first to say that I’m not a big “holiday” kind of guy. 

Sure, I enjoy the various tropes associated with holidays throughout the year. I like light displays at Christmas. I enjoy fireworks on the Fourth of July. I eat turkey at Thanksgiving. 

I just don’t go “all in” emotionally on holidays. 

That said, Bridget and I have developed a number of traditions for holidays during the year. 

Over the past several years, Halloween has become one of those holidays. 

I like to decorate our yard each year. This year we cleaned out the garage in September (yay!) and were better able to access my collection of Halloween inflatables, so we’ve been rocking spooky decorations for a little over a month:

We tend to get a fair number of trick-or-treaters (around 60-70 a year), and we usually celebrate the experience by getting a pumpkin-shaped pizza from Godfather’s Pizza:

Some years our nieces come and help hand out candy to the kids. This picture is from 2013. Our niece Lauren dressed up as a “typical 80s girl” that year:

I tend to wear my Ghostbusters shirt … I've got it on again this year.

We also get season passes to Vala’s Pumpkin Patch each year. Vala’s isn’t your grandmother’s pumpkin patch (unless, of course, you are one of the Vala grandchildren), and I profiled the attraction in a 2016 blog post. 

This picture is from from 2014 when Bridget and I took our nieces Olivia and Julia (and one of their friends) to Vala’s on Oct. 31. I thought it was fun how the girls were locked arm-in-arm:

While our traditions might not seem like a lot, they are our traditions. They help make the season fun. 

Happy Halloween! 

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Yippee Ki Yay, Mother Pumpkin

For years, people I knew made annual visits to Vala's Pumpkin Patch in Gretna, NE. Friends would take their kids...my nieces would go on class trips...that sort of thing. 

Until 2013, I just assumed it was a place to purchase pumpkins, take a hay rack ride, drink some cider and munch on candy corn.

But it is a lot more than that. A lot more.

It's an interesting mix of an amusement park, carnival and holiday faire. 

There are rides, games, jumping pillows, manual powered cars on dirt tracks, a train, an obstacle course, a giant slide, pig races, a petting zoo, a playground, paintball, corn maze, and picnic areas. There are also a couple of tame haunted houses and a mining shaft (which has this trippy tunnel that makes you feel like you are on a spinning bridge).

A variety of concession options are strewn throughout -- including a pie barn, a fudgery, turkey legs, burger meals, ice cream, chicken strip baskets, soups, chili, hotdogs, a slushy stand, and honeycorn...

...and of course you can buy pumpkins.

Parts of it remind me of Silver Dollar City in Missouri, minus the big amusement park type rides. It has that rustic, rural, country feel.

They are constantly reimagining the place.

This year, Vala's added a new attraction called the "Egg Scramble" barn. It is a multi-level activity housed in a tall barn and features cannons and guns that shoot foam balls. 

And really, who doesn't like cannons that shoot foam balls?? 

It is part of a new area that sticks with a poultry theme. There is a large set of piano keys (something akin to what Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia tapped on in the movie "Big") that honks out chicken noises (which is sure to drive nearby staff members nuts). 

One of the staff members told me last night that the next attraction will be an apple orchard.

The entire complex is designed for families. We have season passes for ourselves and three of our nieces. We will go out several times during the season (which runs from Sept. 16 thru Oct. 31 this year). 

Along with the start of UNO Hockey season, Vala's Pumpkin Patch is one of the local attractions that makes fall fun.

Check it out.

And speaking of checking things out, be sure to read yesterday's blog post:

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